


The Things We Have Done

by Mockingjay468



Series: Silver Twins, Red Lovers [5]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Beta'd, But Only if you squint really hard - Freeform, Campfires, Could Be Canon, Doriath, F/M, Family Reunions, Fluff, Gen, Grandchildren, Half-Elves, In Which We Twist Canon Into a Pretzel, Lightly Roasted Chestnuts, M/M, Memories, Midwinter, Multi, Oath of Fëanor, Other Peredhil, Peredhil - Freeform, Second Kinslaying | Sack of Doriath, Sharing a Bed, Sibling Love, Snow, The Noldor, The Twins Are Apprentices Now, The Twins Only Ever Use One Bed In Their Room, Wood Elves, different cultures, eldritch peredhel, the Haladin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:29:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28505994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mockingjay468/pseuds/Mockingjay468
Summary: “Look, Eluréd, I want to put the pan down on the fire so the flames will probably end up where your face is right now. I don’t know about you, but I would quite like to have a fully intact face.”Eluréd leaned back obediently as Haldad placed the chestnuts down. “I suppose I wouldn’t want people to think Elurín was the pretty one.”“Hey! I’m much prettier than you.”It is winter, which means warm fires, hot drinks and hard work to get through to spring. There are also impromptu family reunions, which means uncomfortable conversations about previously avoided topics, long reminiscing about a past long ago and a lot of confrontation. Elurín just wanted to make maple candy.
Relationships: Caranthir | Morifinwë & House of Finwë, Caranthir | Morifinwë & Sons of Fëanor, Caranthir | Morifinwë/Caranthir's Wife, Caranthir | Morifinwë/Caranthir's Wife/Haleth of the Haladin, Caranthir | Morifinwë/Haleth of the Haladin, Caranthir's Wife & Oropher's Wife, Dior Eluchíl & Nimloth of Doriath & Elwing & Eluréd & Elurín, Dior Eluchíl/Nimloth of Doriath, Eluréd & Elurín & Elwing (Tolkien), Eluréd & Elurín (Tolkien), Haldad | Mahatfinwë (OC) & Halreda | Mírindis (OC), Haldad | Mahtafinwë (OC)/Dunred (Son of Dunthor) (OC), Halreda | Mírindis (OC)/Bregedúr | Lárion (OC), Implied Aegnor | Ambaráto/Andreth | Saelind, Nibenaes | Pityaþurwë (OC) & Haldad | Mahtafinwë (OC) & Halreda | Mírindis (OC)
Series: Silver Twins, Red Lovers [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078715
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!  
> My first multi-chapter story in this series! I had a bit of difficulty with how to proceed with this one (and got distracted by a time-travel fix-it I'm writing) but inspiration struck yesterday after I was fixing up some of my notes and it just kept coming, so I split it into multiple parts - it looks like it'll probably be two chapters long, but I might make it three.  
> As ever, thank you to the wonderful [oliviacat3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliviacat3/pseuds/oliviacat3) for being my beta - I couldn't do it without them!  
> Also, a quick warning, this story goes into the kinslayings and there is going to be some death and blood and that sort of thing, so tread carefully if that sort of thing isn't for you.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Felach sucked on his thumb as he looked up at Elurín through his thick eyelashes.

“It hurwts,” He mumbled.

“I know,” Elurín said, gently tying off the end of the bandage, breaking off his humming. “But now you know why only the big children get to go sledding.”

Felach nodded miserably.

“Don’t look so unhappy ‘Lach. If you come round later, Eluréd and I are going to make snow candy. You might _just_ get some.” He bopped the small boys nose as his eyes lit up.

“Really?” He asked excitedly, his hand dropping from his mouth.

Elurín shrugged. “You’ll just have to find out, won’t you?”

The small boy grinned wildly, hugged Elurín tightly despite his grazed arm and ran off into the next room where Feleth sat with her newest baby, little Léohild. She smiled as Felach began to explain excitedly that Elurín was making sweets later in the snow and could they please go around to his house?

“Everything alright?”

“As always.” Elurín smiled at the mother. “The graze should be gone in a few days. It’s thankfully nothing more.”

“Thank you, as always.” Feleth took her sons hand and, after a few cursory farewells, they departed off into the snow. As they exited, Íreneth and her son came in, stamping their boots off on the doormat and shivering.

“Hello champ,” Íreneth said, ruffling Elurín’s hair. “How’re our supplies looking?”

Elurín rattled off the list he had been compiling of what was currently in their storage cupboard and the healer frowned. “That’s not good. Let’s hope that illness is low this year, we don’t appear to quite have enough herbs if everyone comes down with something – particularly if it’s bad.”

“I’m sure it’ll be OK.” Írenthor came up beside his fellow apprentice and slung an arm over his shoulder. “Elurín here has a way with his hands.”

Elurín blushed.

“Yes, you _are_ a most valuable asset to us.” Íreneth smiled. “And you have been working since sun-up. I think you deserve to go home for today. Can you arrive at the same time tomorrow?”

* * *

Eluréd was curled up in a blanket on the bed he still shared with his twin when Elurín came him, balancing two steaming mugs of something that smelt utterly delicious.

Elurín grinned. _Have a nice day?_

Eluréd rolled his eyes, letting his blanket fall down his shoulders slightly so he could make grabbing motions at one of the drinks in his brother hands. Warmth seeped into his fingers as he took the wooden cup and he sighed happily, taking a sip of the nearly boiling tea.

“It was fine, I suppose. I’m lucky I’m the blacksmith’s apprentice really – it’s lovely and warm in the forge. Not at all snowy.”

“I quite like the snow.” Elurín buried himself under the blankets beside his brother and Eluréd yelped as his cold feet touched his own.

“Get your own blanket,” He grumbled, taking another sip of his tea but not shying away from his twin as Elurín laughed and tucked himself closer under the bed clothes. “I don’t _mind_ the snow but only when I can see it from inside a nice warm house and I don’t have to interact with it directly.”

Elurín laughed. “Fine, fine. But you’ll be coming to make snow candy with us? It’s going to be a party, I think. Everyone’s going to be there.” He smiled winningly at his brother.

“And I can see them all from through the window.”

Elurín rolled his eyes. “Ami and Atya might just let us have some of that wine the traders brought in the autumn.”

“Fine.” Eluréd leaned his head on his brother’s shoulder. “I’ll go to your stupid candy party.”

Elurín might have been about to reply but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Come in!” Eluréd called, pushing himself to sit up straighter.

“Hello you two.” Amosgarn poked her head through the crack in the door. “We’re going to light a fire outside and roast some chestnuts Haldad had stored away before people start arriving. Do you wanna come?”

“Ooh!” Elurín jumped up in excitement, drained the rest of his tea and burnt his tongue. “Yeth pweath!” He said, fanning his mouth and looking around for his boots.

“Eluréd?” She asked, turning to the other twin. “It’ll be warm by the fire.”

“It’s warm in _here_ ,” He whined, taking a more steady sip of tea and pulling his blankets closer around himself.

“It’ll be warm _er_ by the fire. You don’t have to stay out for long.”

“Fine.” Eluréd relented and put his mug down with a tad more force than necessary as he unwrapped himself from most of his nest and looked around for his cloak. “I don’t know why I agree to do these things with you.” He complained as Amosgarn’s footsteps took off away from the room.

“Because you love us?” Elurín suggested, pausing in lacing up his boots to look up at his twin.

Eluréd rolled his eyes and smiled. “Unfortunately for me.”

“Hey! For that, I’m stealing some of your candy later.”

“Then I shall just have to covet it harder.”

* * *

“Eluréd, if you get any closer to that fire, you’re going to actually be _in_ it,” Caranthir said, obviously resisting the urge to pull him away. “Maybe if you could…I don’t know, lean away a bit?”

“No. It’s warm here.”

Elurín smothered a laugh as his brother obstinately stared up at their father through the crackling flames of the fire. Haldad, who had heard his snigger-turned-cough and correctly guessed what it was, rose an eyebrow.

He shrugged back and Haldad rolled his eyes.

“Look, Eluréd, I want to put the pan down on the fire so the flames will probably end up where your face is right now. I don’t know about you, but _I_ would quite like to have a fully intact face.”

Eluréd leaned back obediently as Haldad placed the chestnuts down. “I suppose I wouldn’t want people to think Elurín was the pretty one.”

“Hey! I’m much prettier than you.”

“Aren’t you identical?”

Silence fell around the fire and Dunred looked rather embarrassed as all the attention was turned on him. Haldad hid a smile. Dunred looked quite cute when he was flustered.

“Of course we’re not identical. We obviously look completely different.”

Elurín nodded effusively. “Look, my hair goes wavy and his doesn’t.”

“And my skin is slightly darker than his.”

“And our ears are completely different shapes.”

“And he’s shorter than-”

“OK, thank you boys,” Caranthir said, cutting them off. “I’m sure Dunred meant no offense. You have to admit that in the dark you _do_ look strikingly similar.”

Haldad, having given the handle of the chestnut pan to his father, sidled over to his betrothed and planted a kiss on the side of his head. “Don’t worry love, you’ll see it soon.”

“I hope so.” Dunred leaned into Haldad’s touch slightly as the peredhel sat down and wrapped an arm around him. “I’m very sorry-”

Eluréd waved him off. “It’s fine.” He grinned. “But next time you have no excuse.”

Amosgarn, who had been trying to find spare blankets in the house, flew out of the front door and past them, running full tilt towards the forest. The conversation ended rather abruptly as everyone stared after her.

Haldad looked over at his father, who had his brow creased ever-so-slightly in a way that showed he was talking across one of his bonds.

His eyes widened and he shot bolt upright.

“Ada?” Haldad asked, bringing the whole groups attention to Caranthir. He turned his head sharply to his eldest son.

“Mahtë, did you know your sister was coming?”

Haldad quirked one eyebrow. “Nibenaes? I mean, she comes and goes as she pleases, although it has been a while since-”

“No, no. Halreda.”

Haldad’s fairly amiable expression froze. “What?”

“Amosgarn said she felt Halreda.”

“Nana must be lying because Halreda hasn’t visited me, nor has she wanted to, since-” He broke off, the memory of that particular battle not a pleasant one.

“Since Dagor Bragollach?” His father put in gently.

“Yes,” Haldad said tightly, sitting up and away from Dunred. He craved his betrothed’s touch right now but similarly abhorred the idea of having to talk about his mess of feelings on his twin sister, which Dunred would make him do, wilfully or not.

“So…” Eluréd said slowly, breaking the uncomfortable silence that fell over the fireplace. “Dunred, would you like us to show you this game we invented?”

Dunred gave Haldad a worried look but Haldad gave him a tight smile back.

“Go on, I’ll tell you about it later.”

With one more concerned look over his shoulder but with no argument, Dunred followed the twins into the house.

Haldad sighed and stroked his beard anxiously, rubbing up along under his slightly elvish ears.

“You and Halreda never talked then, after that argument?”

Haldad shook his head. “No. I knew she wasn’t dead – Ósanwë may be beyond my ability now, but I can still feel the bonds in my fëa – but beyond that, nothing. I don’t think I want to know.”

“Why?” Caranthir asked quietly and Haldad glared at his father.

“I know what you’re doing. Don’t think it’ll work on me.”

Caranthir held up his hands in a mock surrender. “If you say so.”

Haldad narrowed his eyes but his father seemed to really mean it. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“How do you feel about Halreda coming here?”

Caranthir shrugged and stretched his arms above his head. “What’ll happen will happen. There’s little point in dwelling over it until it does.”

“That’s awfully philosophical for you.”

“What can I say?” Caranthir gave him a small smile.

Haldad rolled his eyes but smiled back. “What indeed?”

* * *

Halreda rolled her shoulders and adjusted the baby strapped to her front. Beneath her, Senant plodded onward in the snow.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t be making camp?” Bregedúr asked, glancing up at the sky again, keeping a strong arm around Haldis, sleeping in the saddle in front of him. “It’s been nearly-”

“An hour since moonrise, yes, you’ve told me.” She sighed. “Trust me Breg, I can feel them near.”

“And if they aren’t as you remember?”

“No-one is after a century. But I need to see them.” She kept riding steadily on, Senant’s feet crunching in the untouched snow of the fields.

Bregedúr rode close beside her, keeping their silence.

She wished she _could_ tell him the entire truth. But it was difficult when every time she tried, nothing came out and she had to shrug and leave it another few weeks. It was a horrible loop, reopening old wounds each time she tried.

Halwyn sniffled in her sling. Halreda stroked her head comfortingly and hummed her father’s lullaby until she settled down again.

Her eyes drooped and she began to admit to herself that maybe her parents weren’t quite close enough to get to them tonight when her ears caught the distant sound of running feet in the snow.

She halted Senant and Bregedúr stopped beside her at her soft mental tap.

They stood there a moment until Halreda spotted a familiar black and red figure darting over the top of the snow.

She grinned triumphantly at her husband. “See! I told you. Nana’s right there.”

Amosgarn got closer by the second, her figure getting more defined in Halreda’s vision as she did. First came the black boot and red and orange dress, then the vague outline of black tattoos and a bob of black hair and then finally, her face – an unrecognisable emotion on otherwise achingly familiar features.

“Nana!” She called once she was a few hundred feet away and slid off her horse as carefully as she could so as not to disturb Halwyn.

“Ainalos! My dear!” Amosgarn skidded most of the rest of the way towards her daughter and all but threw herself into her arms.

Halwyn shrieked as she was woken up rather abruptly and Amosgarn stepped back, sudden surprise morphing into a mix of sheepishness and delight. For a moment, she appeared to struggle for words, eventually settling on; “Oh, a baby!”

She reached, stroking the little girl’s face and crooning softly so that her cries died away into the wind.

“You have a baby,” She said, sounding utterly awestruck. “And you’re here.” She looked up suddenly. “You have missed a lot.”

“So have you.” Halreda smiled up at her husband, still astride Colwaneth. “This is my husband, Bregedúr Son of Andreth and Aegnor. This is our elder daughter Haldis. And this is Halwyn.”

Haldis was still miraculously asleep, tucked in Bregedúr’s arms, so he had a bit of trouble to manoeuvre himself so he could offer a hand to Amosgarn.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” He said stiffly as they shook hands.

Amosgarn smiled back as brightly as always. “And it’s a delight to meet you too.” She spun around again to face her daughter. “You are quite something you know,” She said, smiling lopsidedly. “You should know something too – your father and I adopted two children a few years back.”

“Really?” Halreda gaped at her mother. “Who are they?”

“They’re called Eluréd and Elurín. We found them in the forest after…” She paused, as if struggling for words, before finishing rather lamely on, “…Doriath.”

“Oh.” Halreda felt her face fall blank. “You and Atya _were_ there.” She had been trying to believe that her parents wouldn’t take part in another kinslaying but Bregedúr had been right after all. She _had_ been hopelessly optimistic.

Amosgarn’s eyes widened. “No! No we weren’t!” She made a face. “Well, we were – but we didn’t take part in the battle.” She screwed up her nose. “It’s a long story.”

“And will that story include how you found and adopted Dior’s dead twins?”

“Yes. But I shall tell it when we are around a warm campfire at home and your children are comfortably in bed.” There was a firm edge to Amosgarn’s voice and while not entirely sure her mother had avoided another kinslaying, a warm place to stay the night sounded lovely.

“Of course.” She nodded, smiling thinly at her.

“Where are you staying?” She asked as they started off once more, Bregedúr and Haldis on Colwaneth and her walking beside her mother, who had taken Halwyn off her. Senant followed behind them obediently, needed no-one to lead her to know where to go. “I’m assuming it won’t be at Amon Ereb.”

“No. It was luck really – we were going to the Greenwood when we ran across your brother and we’ve been staying with him ever since.”

Halreda felt her stomach go uncomfortably still. “Haldad’s here?” She asked, a voice a bit higher than she may have wanted.

Amosgarn rose an eyebrow in her direction. She merely pursed her lips in answer and that was all they spoke of on the matter.

In a lull in the later conversation, Bregedúr brushed against their bond.

_Are you certain you want to continue?_

_Of course. I’m not a coward._

She could feel Bregedúr roll his eyes. _I never said that. But you haven’t seen him in over a century._

_I’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. We will all be absolutely fine._

* * *

Amosgarn could smell burning as they wandered into the village which was never a good sign.

“We have some lightly roasted chestnuts, if you would like one.” Caranthir offered his daughter in lieu of any actual greeting. She snorted a laugh at the blackened mess in the pan.

“I’ll pass, thanks.”

She poked at her and Caranthir’s bond as Haldad helped Bregedúr find a place for the children to sleep and she came to sit beside her husband. _We’re going to need to talk to them._

_About Doriath?_

_And everything else. The full story. I can tell Halreda has made up her own mind already._ She huffed. _We should probably tell El and El as well, save you having to do it twice._

_We should have done it before._

_And we would have but neither of us was expecting the Fire._

_We should have done it when they came of age, like we did with Nibenaes._

_There’s no point lamenting the past – that’s what Hal always said. What’s done is done._

Caranthir bit his lip but sent a soft wave of agreement down their bond as the twins burst from the house.

“There are children in our bedroom!” Eluréd sounded utterly outraged by this turn of events.

Amosgarn rolled her eyes. “You only use one bed between you anyway. It’s simply a good use of space.”

“Anyway ‘Red,” Haldad said, coming up beside his younger brother and ruffling his hair, “it’s only _one_ child.”

Eluréd glared and crossed his arms. “I don’t want any children in our room.”

“Sometimes you don’t get what you want.” Caranthir met his eyes steadily until Eluréd deflated.

Elurín sighed dramatically, coming to sit on the log beside Amosgarn. “May we at least know who it is who’s invading our space?”

Amosgarn smiled. “Elurín, Eluréd, this is our younger daughter Halreda and her husband Bregedúr. Halreda, this is Eluréd and Elurín.”

“It’s _our_ daughter who’s taken your bed I’m afraid. I’m sure we’ll be able to find better accommodation in the morning.”

“Ah. So you’ll be busy tonight, I assume?” Dunred asked.

Amosgarn nodded. “I suppose so.” She smiled. “Would you-”

“I’ll go and tell everyone.”

“Thank you dear.”

He said a quick goodbye and pecked his betrothed on the cheek, before wandering off into the village. Amosgarn got the vague impression he was slightly glad he’d be missing what was going to probably inevitably boil over into a rather vicious argument, if she knew her family half as well as she thought she did.

Eluréd took a seat beside his twin as he left and Haldad and Bregedúr led the two horses away. Halreda looked over to her brother as if she might say something but met his eye and turned away.

“Where have you been then?” He began, throwing an arm carelessly over Elurín’s shoulders. “I mean, we know Nibenaes wanders-”

“Goes with the wind, as Ami likes to say.”

“-but we haven’t heard much about you.”

Both silver haired boys looked expectantly at their adoptive sister who looked faintly out of sorts under their joint stare.

“Well…I don’t know exactly…” She looked over at her parents for help.

Amosgarn smiled warmly. “How about you start from when you left Amon Ereb? We don’t know that either.”

“OK.” She accepted a mug of tea that Elurín silently passed her way and began. “I was initially making my way to Nargothrond to see Uncle Finrod but I was allowed to pass through Nargothrond and I met Aunt Lindwil and she invited me to stay. I stayed there for a while with her and Oropher-”

“You know Oropher?” Eluréd blurted out, cutting her off.

Halreda looked over in surprise. “Yes, I do. He and Aunt Lindwil had a baby – two actually. They said so in the last letter they sent me. They said they were staying in the havens.”

“Do you know about anyone else?” Elurín was looking expectantly at her.

“Amdir? Ivannt? Or Celeborn?”

Halreda laughed. “No, no, I’m sorry. I’ve only heard from Oropher – although he has mentioned Amdir a few times so I would venture to guess that he is alright. Why the curiosity?”

“Doriath, sweetie,” Amosgarn said quietly, noticing the twins going silent as they processed the new information. “But continue, if you would.”

Halreda looked apologetically at her brothers and continued on. “Yes, well, I left when I heard that Thingol refused Uncle Curvo and Uncle Tyelko’s plea for aid but before that it was fairly peaceful. When I left, I went west towards the coast which is where I met Bregedúr.” She smiled, her eyes losing focus. “He was wandering the coast after Dagor Bragollach. His parents died in the battle and he had been unsure on what to do with himself, so together we set up a small house on the edge of the beach and lived together for a long time.

“We loved each other for a long time before we admitted our feelings – I had thought he was a Man, at first, for he talked often of his mother Andreth but never of his father, and he had thought I to be a Man as well, for I certainly inherited Ma’s looks. But eventually he let slip his father was Elvish and I admitted my own birth. We married the next spring.” She had a dreamy look on her face as she was clearly recollecting the happy time.

“His father was Aegnor?” Caranthir asked, breaking his daughter from her reverie.

“Yes. How did you-?”

Caranthir shrugged. “Curvo,” He said simply before nodding for her to continue.

“Yes, well, I got pregnant in the summer and gave birth to a little boy we called I called Haleg and he called Brenion.” Amosgarn felt her stomach drop at the subtle change in her daughters tone of voice and the distinct lack of a mention of any son up until this point. “He…” She sighed. “When he was fifteen I got pregnant again with a little girl I called Haldis and Bregedúr called Brunfae and I was pregnant _again_ when the orcs attacked. We had been lucky up until then and stayed secret from Angband for nearly sixty years but a fear of the sea only kept Þauron away for so long.”

“And Haleg didn’t make it?” Amosgarn asked quietly, reaching out a hand and leaving it just within reach for her daughter to touch if she so wanted.

“No.” Halreda sighed, looking tired and worn and very much unlike how Amosgarn remembered her. “We sent him on a boat into the sea and then we turned and left. We went down the coast but the Falas was abandoned. Nargothrond was abandoned and we learnt from the Men there that it had been destroyed by a dragon. I gave birth with them there – I named her Halwyn and Bregedúr named her Bronweth. And then we came to Doriath.” She looked up, her gaze sharpening and fixing on her father. “Did you or did you not take part in the kinslaying?”

Caranthir looked her in the eyes. “No. I didn’t.”

“You were there though. You wouldn’t have found the twins otherwise.”

Said twins looked between their father and sister – Elurín looked like he was still reeling from the fact that Halreda had spoken to anyone of their family but Eluréd seemed far more aware of the entire situation.

“What’s a kinslaying?” He asked quietly.

Caranthir turned his head. “When one elf kills another elf.”

“There was a kinslaying at…at Doriath?”

“The monsters weren’t orcs then?” Elurín asked, catching on a bit before his brother as he was prone to do.

“No. They were elves.”

A heavy silence fell down.

“You knew them?”

“I knew them. I knew them very well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-Canon Names:  
> Felach - Man Flame (Halish)  
> Feleth - Man Woman (Halish)  
> Léohild - Cat Youth (Halish)  
> Íreneth - Iron Woman (Halish)  
> Írenthor - Steadfast Iron (Halish)  
> Amosgarn - Robin Red-Breast (Sindarin)  
> Haldad - Watchdog (Halish)  
> Dunred - Dark-Haired Heir  
> Mahtë - Short for Mahtafinwë  
> Mahtafinwë - Fighting Finwë (It is more a joining of the names Mahtan and Finwë) (Quenya)  
> Nibenaes - Small and Sharp (Sindarin)  
> Halreda - Chief's Heir (Halish)  
> Senant - Russet Face (Silvan)  
> Bregedúr - Wildfire (Sindarin)  
> Haldis - Chief's Bride (Halish)  
> Halwyn - Chief Maiden (Halish)  
> Ainalos - Small Forest (Silvan)  
> Colwaneth - Black Beauty (Silvan)  
> Lindwil - Swallow (Sindarin)  
> Ivannt - Gift of Yavanna (Sindarin)  
> Haleg - Sharp Chief (Halish)  
> Brenion - Son of Endurance (Sindarin)  
> Brunfae - Old Soul (Sindarin)  
> Bronweth - Woman of Faith (Sindarin)
> 
> Silvan Translations:  
> Ami - Mother (Informal)
> 
> Quenya Translations:  
> Atya - Father (Informal)  
> Ósanwë - Communication of Thought (Typically Between Elvish Minds)  
> Fëa - Soul
> 
> Sindarin Translations:  
> Peredhel - Half Elf  
> Ada - Father (Informal)  
> Dagor Bragollach - Battle of Sudden Flame  
> Nana - Mother (Informal)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!  
> New chapter out - I've split this one into three parts as it just kept getting longer with no sign of stopping, so you have that to look forward to. I'm making a lot of presumptions about the oath here as well.  
> Sindarin for grandparents and grandchildren is my own invention.  
> Hope you enjoy!

“It’s not-I mean, I just-I can’t-” Eluréd paced up and down in front of a tree in one of the fields by the village, unable to articulate his feelings. His skin glowed a golden colour, reflecting oddly on the white of the snow. “They didn’t _tell_ us!”

“I know ‘Red.” Elurín kept his own distress under wraps, pulling it as close to his core as he could, not wanting to know what would happen if he didn’t

“And-and it’s not even-I-maybe if they’d told us then-” Eluréd tugged viciously at one of his braids and rubbed at his eyes, the bond they shared very purposefully blocked.

Elurín leant against the tree, his arms crossed tight, and watched his brother struggle to work out his emotions.

“They both care for us.”

“Atya’s brothers killed our father!”

Elurín pursed his lips. “And he disowned them.”

“He disowned them to get out of an oath.”

“He wanted out of the oath because it was making the people he loved do horrible things.”

Eluréd snorted, the glow on his skin pulsing in time with a fast, erratic heartbeat. “The oath didn’t _make_ them do anything.”

“It was a very strong reason for their actions.”

“But not all the reason! And they never should have sworn it in the first place.”

“If you swore something like that, I would too.”

Eluréd blinked at him.

“Or Ada or Nana or even baby Elwing. Or any of our family here.”

“What?” Eluréd looked almost scared, the light dimming. Elurín could swear his brother’s eyes had momentarily flashed a ghostly white. “Why…why would you do that?”

“Because I love you. I wouldn’t think of the long term consequences. I would just want you to be happy.”

They stared at each other for a moment, shock written over Eluréd’s face and Elurín’s carefully passive.

“Don’t,” Eluréd said eventually, stepping forward. “Please. Don’t ever do something like that for me.”

“I won’t,” Elurín promised. “Not now. But I would have, if you had asked yesterday or the day before that.”

Eluréd searched his face for a very long second before taking another step and enveloping his brother in a hug. He was slightly taller than Elurín – he had always been and probably would always be so – and was stronger from all his work as Haldad’s apprentice. He ran warmer than usual, almost burning to the touch.

Elurín was distinctly reminded of Doriath when Eluréd would hug him when he fell down or when someone else made fun of his hair or his unnaturally pale skin and how he would smile through the pain of a scraped knee because Elurín was fretting and he didn’t want to worry him.

He hiccupped something that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob and hugged his brother back even tighter, the emotion he had packed carefully away spilling out. He was vaguely aware of his own skin beginning to glow in a soft silver to contrast his brother.

“I miss Nana and Ada,” He admitted in barely more than a whisper. “Sometimes it almost physically hurts that I can’t run and find them.”

Eluréd hummed something softly – the lullaby Caranthir sang them, when he thought they were already asleep – and didn’t answer.

For a moment, Elurín let the music flow over him. “I miss the way Nana would call me Timuilin and kiss me on the forehead. Or how Ada would ruffle my hair and tell me he would always protect us.”

Eluréd broke off the song. “He did. He did protect us. And now I’ll protect you.”

Elurín smiled, even though Eluréd couldn’t see. “We’re the same age ‘Red, I don’t need protecting.”

Eluréd held him tighter. “I’ll do it anyway,” He said fiercely and Elurín could feel the warm glow in his stomach at the firmness in the words.

“I know,” He whispered back. “You know what else I miss?” He pulled himself – somewhat reluctantly – from the hug. “Elwing and her complete, overabundant joy at everything.”

“Like the time you rescued that bird?”

“She cried for days when we had to let it go again. She was inconsolable.”

Eluréd huffed a soft laugh and their bond slid neatly open again. Both of their glowing gently ebbed away and any difference in Eluréd’s eyes was gone. “She dragged her poor nurse everywhere.”

“Faroneth could probably map the entire realm from memory.”

Their conversation gently suffused from speech to bond until they were making their way back to the house sharing small memories between themselves.

* * *

_“Do it again! Do it again!” Elwing sat on Eluréd’s bed (as unused as it was) and clapped her hands happily. Her black, fluffy hair curled around her ears as it did when she was glad._

_Elurín concentrated very hard and grinned as the flower in his hand opened its petals wide and waved gently in a non-existent wind. Elwing giggled hysterically, throwing herself backwards onto the bed and holding her stomach._

_Elurín smiled as Eluréd jumped onto the bed beside her and began tickling her side._

_“No! Stop it!” She shrieked in laughter, getting perilously close to the edge of the bed. Elurín poked his bond with his brother and Eluréd dutifully stopped, leaving their little sister panting for breath and giggling manically._

_She sat up straight, her dress rumpling but her eyes shining brighter than the jewel hanging around their father’s neck. “What should we do now?”_

* * *

_Baranass patted down her skirts as Eluréd ran up to her._

_“Look what I found!” He exclaimed and opened his palm to reveal a small shell. The small snail that had made its home there poked his head out discontentedly and began to crawl down Eluréd’s middle finger. “He’s so cool!”_

_“Eluréd, you mustn’t take creatures away from their homes.” Baranass gently extricated the snail from hand and placed him on a flower petal. “How would you like it if you were just minding your own business and someone came and picked you up? How would you like it?”_

_Eluréd blushed to the tips of his ears. “Sorry Baranass. But he was upside down on the ground and he looked lost!”_

_“Well next time you will know to turn him the right way up and put him on a flower. Snails like flowers.”_

_Eluréd nodded. “I’ll keep an eye out.” He spun around. “Hey! Elurín! Guess what Baranass told me!”_

* * *

_“Sit up straight Laurorn,” Their mother chastised Eluréd in a break in the middle of Elwing’s rather enigmatic story about how she had been playing with Faroneth at the nearby river._

_Elurín, despite his already perfect posture, pushed himself upright a bit more as he continued to poke at the small platter of food._

_They were all ignoring the empty seat at the end of the table where Dior should have been sitting._

_“How about you two? What have you been doing today?” Nimloth smiled at her sons and Eluréd launched into a detail description of every moment of their day, from learning their letters under their tutor to the very interesting bird they had seen when they had had lunch with Baranass, Faroneth and Elwing by the creak._

_Nimloth smiled all the time – a rather strained smile that cracked ever so slightly when Eluréd said that it would have been_ amazing _if she and Ada had been there as well._

_“What about you dear?” She asked Elurín softly when Eluréd had finally finished._

_Elurín shrugged. “It was alright.”_

_“Anything fun happen?”_

_“Eluréd told you.”_

_Nimloth’s slightly broken smile strained even more. “Nothing at all you can add?”_

_“No.” He stared down at his plate and did not miss Nimloth’s very small sigh._

* * *

_Eluréd ran up to his grandmother, his hands cupped around something. He was flanked by Elurín hovering like a worried mother hen on his right and Elwing looking very proud of herself – even with a thumb in her mouth – on his left._

_“Emer,” He said, announcing his presence to Lúthien, who had her head bent over something on her desk. She looked up and smiled brightly at her three grandchildren – she looked radiant despite the lack of Nauglamir which sat in a box on the bookshelf behind her._

_“Hello Echîn. What may I do for you?”_

_“Look!” Eluréd opened his hands very carefully to reveal a fluffy yellow duckling. “Don’t worry! I didn’t steal her – her mother died so Faroneth and Baranass are looking after her and her siblings. They let us take her. Do you…do you like her?”_

_Lúthien gently stroked the chick’s head with one long finger and smiled. “She’s beautiful. Now why don’t you take her back? It looks like she’s hungry now.”_

_“You’re the best Emer!”_

* * *

_“Ada.”_

_Dior looked away from Eluréd and Elwing chasing each other around the forest glade under their mothers slightly concerned gaze down to his other son. He was sitting on the picnic blanket beside him, picking at the hem of his tunic._

_“Yes Elurín?”_

_Elurín bit his lip, looping his finger in a loose thread and tugging at it. “Are you going to die?”_

_Dior looked rather shocked at this question. “Whyever would you think that?” He asked before he thought on it._

_Elurín shrugged, tugging harder at the loose thread. “Etha and Emer did.” He avoided his father’s eyes. “I just thought that maybe…you would too…”_

_With no forewarning, Elurín dove forward, wrapping his small arms around his waist and buried his head into his tunic. “I don’t want you to die.” He mumbled into the fabric and Dior stroked his back gently._

_“I’m not going to die, Elurín.” There was a slight waver to his voice as if he wasn’t entirely sure on this himself. The grip tightened. “Not as long as I can stop it.”_

* * *

_“Minuetha! You’re back!”_

_Galadhon looked up as his great-grandchildren ran up to him from down the long staircase of the palace._

_Well, Elurín ran; Eluréd took one look at the stairs and decided the bannister was the way to go. Elwing had tried to copy him but her nurse had got there just before she succeeded and carried her down._

_“Did you find her?” Elurín asked._

_Galadhon shook his head. “No, but there’s always next time.” At Elurín’s downcast expression he smiled. “Don’t worry ‘Rin. I’ll find her someday.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Promise.”_

* * *

_Elurín looked up apprehensively at the tall tree._

_Eluréd grinned down. “Come on you two! The view is wonderful from up here!”_

_Elwing grinned back, hitched up her skirt and began climbing, her short limbs only just long enough to reach the branches._

_Elurín did not think that Baranass or Faroneth would appreciate them climbing trees and winced at the tell-tale sound of fabric ripping. Elwing giggled but didn’t stop her ascent._

_“Come on ‘Rin! Don’t be a spoilsport!”_

_The tree itself sent a wave of deep amusement to follow Eluréd’s words and Elurín scrunched up his nose, tugged nervously on the edge of his cloak and followed them up._

* * *

_“Will Ada be alright?” Elurín asked._

_“Of course Timuilin.” Nimloth laid a gentle hand on her son’s shoulder, meeting his eyes. “This isn’t the first time he’s been ill and he’ll pull through.”_

_“Are…are you sure?”_

_“Yes. Trust me.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Now be a good boy for me and find Baranass. You can visit your father in the morning.” She gave him a distracted smile and gently pushed him in the direction of the nursery._

_He wasn’t quite fast enough to miss the horrible hacking cough as his mother re-entered his father’s sickroom._

* * *

_Their mother had been worried all day._

_She snapped at anyone who talked to her, her voice and posture brittle like it might break into a thousand pieces at any given moment. She kept tapping her fingers anxiously against any nearby surface until their father – always the more amiable of the pair of them and who Elurín had never seen get angry even once – snapped at her in turn._

_At that, Elwing began to cry._

_“Don’t cry Moreg,” Nimloth said tiredly and bundled her into her lap, wiping away her tears. “There we go. We aren’t really angry, are we?”_

_“No. Just worried.”_

_“Worried about what?” Eluréd asked, looking up from where he was making a tower out of wooden blocks._

_“There are…monsters nearby and we don’t want you getting hurt.”_

_Elurín squeaked at the thought of monsters. “You’ll protect us though?” He asked, his eyes wide._

_Dior smiled and ruffled his hair. “Of course. We would protect you with our lives.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-Canon Names:  
> Timuilin - Secret Spark (Doriathrin)  
> Baranass - Golden Brown Point (Sindarin)  
> Laurorn - Golden Tree (Doriathrin)  
> Faroneth - Hunter Woman (Sindarin)  
> Moreg - Black Holly (Doriathrin)
> 
> Quenya Translations:  
> Atya - Father (Informal)
> 
> Sindarin Translations:  
> Nana - Mother (Informal)  
> Ada - Father (Informal)  
> Emer - Grandmother (Informal)  
> Echîn - Grandchildren  
> Etha - Grandfather (Informal)  
> Minuetha - First Grandfather/Great Grandfather (Informal)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!  
> Another chapter in an hour as this is technically part two of the last chapter. A quick thing - in the memories, Amosgarn's name is Crinthammos as that is what she was called at the time.  
> Hope you enjoy!

“We need to talk.” Haldad blocked the door to the room Halreda and her husband were staying in. “Please.”

She glanced over her brother’s shoulder and saw that Bregedúr was already asleep. He had left midway through the conversation around the campfire, trusting that she would fill him in on the relevant details later.

She swallowed thickly. “Fine.”

He led her to the kitchen table and she sat down on one of the hard wooden chairs. He hovered for a moment on the other side of the table. “Do you want something to eat?”

“What do you want to talk about Mahtafinwë?”

“OK. We’re using _those_ names.” Haldad slipped into his own seat. “Look, Mírindis, I need to apologise.”

“I know.”

Haldad ignored the slight. “I shouldn’t have ever said that you didn’t love Ma just because you wanted to be elvish. It was wrong and blatantly not true.” He swallowed. “And I didn’t want you gone. I still don’t want you gone.”

“I forgive you.” She did – she had forgiven him nearly a year after they had parted. She hadn’t quite known if he’d truly felt sorry but it was a wonderful feeling to know that he did.

“Well,” He stood up, scraping the chair against the floor. “If that’s all, I’ll be getting to bed.”

“Sit down Mahtë. I need to apologise too.”

He carefully lowered himself back down.

She huffed. “I should have tried harder to understand why you were choosing Men. I felt…abandoned and I lashed out at you when I shouldn’t have. I…I have had a long time to think on it and I think I understand a bit better now. You didn’t want to stay here forever. It would weigh on you.”

Haldad nodded. “Yes. Is it…is it weighing on you? Bregedúr told me about your son.”

“It was. It’s certainly still painful.” She swallowed back her thick emotions. “But I have made a sort of peace with it.”

They sat for a long while in a companiable sort of tense silence until Haldad broke in.

“I should probably be getting to bed. I’ve got to be up early for work at the forge.”

“And I’ve had a long trip and a daughter prone to waking at odd hours of the night. Goodnight Mahtë.” She gave him a small smile.

“Goodnight Mírë.”

* * *

_“We’re not allowed to do this!” Haldad hissed at his sister. “It’s the armoury – Atya told us, it’s one of the only places we’re not allowed to go. And both Ma and Nana agreed with him!”_

_“Oh, don’t be such a killjoy,” Halreda said, sticking her tongue through the gap in her front teeth as she concentrated on working her pick into the lock. “We won’t touch anything, I just want to see.”_

_The pin broke._

_“Oh damn!”_

_“A key may be easier to use.” An airy voice behind them said and they both spun around, hiding the keyhole as if their sister hadn’t already seen them attempting to pick the lock._

_“Nibenaes!” Halreda exclaimed. “I didn’t know you were back.”_

_“I was going to visit Uncle Telvo and I thought to myself – you know who’s on the way? Why of course, you two lovely pair of idiots.”_

_Haldad rose an eyebrow. “And your wife?”_

_Nibenaes nodded. “That too I suppose.”_

_“And your parents?”_

_“And your entire job revolves around giving Ada messages, so really you would need to come back.”_

_Nibenaes crouched down slightly, slinging an arm over first Haldad and then Halreda’s shoulders. “OK, how about we start taking the compliment, hmm? And then, maybe, I won’t tell Ma we were trying to get into the weapons room. How does that sound?”_

_Halreda scowled. “Fine.”_

_Nibenaes ruffled her hair before pushing herself to a stand. “There we go. Now, as a responsible older sister, it would be my duty to never inform you that the guard has spare keys hanging in the guard house and that tonight there will be a party.” She shrugged. “They get a bit lax when there’s a lot of alcohol. But, of course, I’m a very mature adult and would never dream of telling you this information and so if you_ were _ever to be caught trying to take them, it wouldn’t have been me who told you. You understand that, right?”_

_Haldad sighed as Halreda nodded effusively. “Absolutely. I’m very glad you’re so responsible. It would never do for us to be found where we shouldn’t be.”_

_Nibenaes grinned. “Quite right. Now, who wants the presents I brought back from Uncle Káno and Uncle Nelyo?”_

* * *

_Haldad sighed, putting down his pencil._

_Caranthir looked up from his embroidery. “What’s on your mind Mahtë?”_

_“Cousin Tyelpë’s really good at forge work.”_

_Caranthir rose an eyebrow, picking up on Haldad’s dejected mood at once. “Cousin Tyelpë has been alive a lot longer than you and learnt under my father and his father who are both astounding blacksmiths. Unfortunately, you only had me and, out of all my brothers, only Káno is worse in the forge than me.”_

_“I suppose.”_

_Caranthir wrinkled his nose in thought. “If you would like, I could ask Curvo if he might come and teach you – at least a little bit.”_

_“Really?” Haldad looked up excitedly and Caranthir laughed._

_“If it would mean that much to you, of course I would.”_

_Pen and paper fell to the floor as Haldad leapt to his feet to throw himself at his father. “Thank you so much!”_

_With a soft snort of laughter, Caranthir patted Haldad’s back. “Don’t go thanking me quite yet. I still need to ask him.”_

* * *

_“Ma! Must we?” Halreda looked at the lake with a deep apprehension._

_Haleth rose an eyebrow. “Halreda Mírindis Ainalos, are you or are you not a coward?”_

_“I’m not a coward! I just have some sense of self preservation.” She continued to eye the lake distrustfully. “Nibenaes says there are things in there that can eat a person whole.”_

_Haleth sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You shouldn’t trust everything your older sister tells you. I have been swimming in this lake ever since I came here and I haven’t yet found anything that has threatened my life.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Promise.” She looked out at the inky black waters, reflecting the light of the early morning back at them. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll be there right beside you.”_

_Halreda shifted, tore her eyes from the water and nodded._

_“Good. There’s no point putting it off anymore.” Haleth tugged her tunics and leggings off and waded into the lake._

_Halreda stood on the shore for a moment, her arms hugging her waist._

_“Come on Halreda!” She called. “I don’t have all the time in the world.”_

_“Is it cold?”_

_“Stop stalling ‘Reda. I thought you wanted to learn to swim before your brother.”_

_“I do!” She took a few tentative steps forward, before dipping her toe tentatively in the water. She squeaked slightly but didn’t pull away, edging forward until she was up to her ankles, and then her knees, and then her thighs, and then-_

_Haleth splashed her._

_Halreda spluttered and gave her mother the most outraged look. “Ma! Now I’m going to be cold!”_

_“You were cold already. But now, when you go under the water, it feels almost warm.”_

_Halreda rolled her eyes as she sank down, leaving only her face above the water. “You could have_ warned _me at least.”_

_Haleth smiled. “You want to learn to swim?”_

_“Are you going to teach me like you taught me to throw a knife?”_

_Haleth’s smile grew, which was enough of an answer for the apprehension in Halreda to grow._

* * *

_“…98…99…100! Ready or not, here I come!” Nibenaes spun around from her corner, her sharp eyes looking around the room for any sign of her siblings._

_There was a quiet little giggle from the direction of the desk, hastily smothered by a hand over a mouth._

_Nibenaes sighed dramatically. “Well, I suppose they aren’t anywhere in here. I shall have to go search the rest of the house. What a terrible bore for me.”_

_The giggle came again and Nibenaes felt a grin creep over her face._

_“Nowhere in here at all!” She lamented walking slowly towards the door, passing by the desk as she went. “Nowhere…at…all!” She crouched down suddenly so she was face to face with both her little siblings crammed in the small space. “Found you!”_

_They both giggled maniacally. “Again! Again!” Halreda called as they came tumbling out from their hiding spot._

_“Again? But you must have hidden everywhere there is to hide in the house!”_

_Halreda shook her head vehemently. “You just have no ‘magination,” She said very seriously, pushing her in the direction of the corner. “Count again.” She ordered and Nibenaes hid a smile as she made a big show of covering her face and beginning to count again._

_“1…2…3…4…5…”_

* * *

_Halreda had her hand firmly in her mother’s as they wandered through the woods._

_Crinthammos had a benign smile on her face as she walked and she hummed softly, some melody Halreda had never heard before. The wind rustled through the trees, making them bend their branches towards them._

_Crinthammos stopped suddenly. “This is it.”_

_“This is what?”_

_Crinthammos turned to her daughter, smiling brightly. “This is the place I shall teach you the way of my people. You have learnt from your father the ways of the Ñoldor, chosen a craft and can speak both Quenya and Ñoldorin. And you have learnt from your mother the ways of the Haladin, been trained as a warrior through all terrain and been taught Halish to the point of fluency.”_

_Halreda nodded, not daring to speak as if it might break the spell._

_“But I am of neither of those kindreds. And so, today, I shall teach you of the Silvan elves of the Greenwood and I shall continue to do so, if you so wish.”_

_The trees rustled around them but Halreda felt no wind as she looked up at her mother. Crinthammos seemed to glow in that moment, a soft red dancing over her skin and circling her head in a halo as her face crept into a smile._

_“I should like that very much,” She whispered, slightly in awe._

* * *

_“Do you remember everything I taught you?”_

_“No. I have forgotten everything you have ever said to me in the last few weeks Ma.”_

_“Haldad.”_

_“Sorry. Yes, I remember.”_

_Haleth smiled at her son. “Good. Then you should have little problem.”_

_“Halreda did and she’s much better than I am at everything you teach us.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets._

_Haleth smiled. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. Brawn is not quite so helpful in this situation. Willpower on the other hand – now_ that _will be getting you places.” She pressed a kiss to her son’s head. “Go ask Ebordan. I have faith in you.”_

_Haldad took a short breath and turned around, walking up to the horse master._

_Haleth watched as he bowed and introduced himself in Halish, asking formally if he may receive his first horse. Ebordan laughed._

_“_ Ken pol-ki loho-croctha _,” He replied and nodded in the direction of the horses grazing in the field._

_Haldad thanked him and took a step forward. He turned around and Haleth smiled at his concern, gesturing for him to go on. With that simple moment of encouragement, Haldad set his shoulders back and strode forward._

* * *

_“It’s snowing, it’s snowing, it’s snowing, it’s snowing!” Halreda crowed, bouncing up and down on her parents’ bed. “Come on! Wake up!”_

_Nibenaes leant against the wall in amusement as her father and mothers blinked their eyes open blearily._

_Caranthir was the first to gain any semblance of consciousness. “What on all of Arda, Mírë?”_

_“It’s morning and it’s snowing! You have to take us out!”_

_“I have to, do I?”_

_Halreda nodded very seriously. “You and Ma and Nana. You all need to take us.”_

_Haleth pushed herself to a sit, tugging her nightdress down as it hitched up over her hip. “Sweetheart, could you not have waited until it was light?”_

_Haldad pouted, rolling onto the bed and tucking himself into his mother’s arms. “But the snow will be ruined by then because everyone will have walked in it.”_

_“Inzilwen dear.”_

_Crinthammos threw an arm over her head. “I’ll wake when the sun has.”_

_“Well, if we’re not going out,” Nibenaes began, sighing dramatically and turning to leave, “I guess I should get back into my nightdress and go back to bed.”_

_“Oh, don’t be like that Crisnaith. I’ll get up.” Crinthammos rolled out of the bed, landing in a crouch on the floor and blearily searching through the dresser for clothes._

_“_ Násë tyaltyë _,” Caranthir informed her, pulling on clothes that had been strewn around the floor the night previously._

 _“_ Istanyë _,” She replied and pecked him softly on the lips._

_“Ew! That’s gross.”_

_“Really?” Haleth asked, diving down on her daughter and attacking her stomach with tickling fingers. “Is it really?”_

_“Stop it! Ma!”_

_Nibenaes laughed, catching Haldad’s hand. “Do you want to get outside first? I’ll show you the best place to make snowballs,” She whispered and he grinned up at her._

_“Yes! And then we can attack them when they come outside too.”_

_“And they will declare us rulers of the snow!”_

_With those whispered grand declarations, they ran down the corridor, waved and smiled to the few Men and Elves they encountered, before bursting into the bright white of the snowy courtyard and giggled madly._

* * *

_Crinthammos breathed in, taking her son’s hand in her own and holding it against the tree._

_“Feel that Haldad?”_

_It was electric the way he could suddenly feel the forest; not just the breeze in his hair or the floor beneath his feet or the bark under his hand but all the forest as it truly was. He could feel the forest’s feelings in all their bright colours and the conversations they held in deep, slow voices._

_“Yes,” He breathed. “It’s amazing.”_

_“Yep,” She gently pulled her own hand away. “All forests have their own feeling, just like all people. They have souls, just like we do. Men cannot feel it in quite the same way if the forest isn’t full of Old Magics. This one is a good example – there are fewer Blaithyrn here.”_

_Haldad let his hand fall to his side as he looked up at his mother curiously. “What are Blaithyrn?”_

_“A Blaithorn is a tree with a spirit. The spirits do not stick in one tree and it is the collective spirits that make up the forest’s soul. They inhabit trees most of the time but sometimes they appear in their true forms as guardians of the forest.” She smiled, her eyes distant. “Your Aunt Lindwil says that Doriath is full of them like our home in the Greenwood.”_

_“Why?”_

_“They protect the forests and help them flourish. Before the sun and the moon they brought them to life – made them green and grow as they do now without light to sustain them. And now they keep the trees from being harmed.”_

_Haldad looked around. “Do…do we count as harming the forest?”_

_“Not if you’re respectful. We don’t cut down more trees than we need and so they do not harm us. And we never cut down the trees inhabited by a Blaithorn.”_

_“I’ll remember to ask if I ever need wood next time.” Haldad nodded seriously and Crinthammos ruffled his hair._

_“Good boy,” She said and pressed a kiss to his forehead._

* * *

_“Atya, I’ve thought about my craft.”_

_Caranthir put his book down and smiled at his daughter. “And?”_

_Halreda nodded and produced a thin book from behind her back, presenting it to her father. “I talked to some people, tried out some things but I’ve decided this is what I want to do. Parthavron showed me how to write calligraphy but it cramped my hand so I decided I wasn’t going to do that but when I went to thank him for showing him he was binding a book and I thought that that looked fun and he showed me and it was! So that’s what I want to do.”_

_Caranthir examined the notebook in front of him, carefully examining the engraving in the leather. “You helped with this?”_

_“It’s only a sewn book and doesn’t use all the contraptions he had to use. He made holes for me to sew in and it really was only finishing off what he had begun but it was cool!” She grinned brightly up at him. “You can keep it, if you want.”_

_“I would love to.” He gently placed it on his desk. “Now, should I go ask Parthavron if you may apprentice under him?”_

_Halreda’s eyes lit up. “Would you really?”_

_“Of course. I should want you to do what you want and if this is it, then this is what it shall be.” He stood and walked around to stand in front of her. “Do you want to come with me?”_

_“Oh Atya! Thank you so much!” She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist before pulling away and taking his hand. “Let’s go!”_

* * *

_“How was your trip?” Halreda asked, lounging on Nibenaes’ bed as she came in through the door._

_“It was fine thank you.” She dropped her bag on the floor and was about to gesture for her sister to get off the bed when Haldad turned around in the chair by the desk._

_“And Loheth?”_

_Nibenaes blushed, red brushing the tips of her ears. “I have no idea what you mean.”_

_“Unfortunately, dear cousin,” Haldan started, stepping out from a dark corner, “I saw you and her making out by moonlight.”_

_“Is there anyone else hiding in my room I should know about?” Nibenaes asked irritably, putting her hands on her hips. “I thought you were in the south with the Men there.”_

_“I was but I wanted to introduce Aunt Haleth to my betrothed.”_

_“You’re betrothed? And we’re instead talking about my love life. That is far more interesting.”_

_Haldad tutted. “You won’t get out of it that easily. We already_ knew _about Gambel. Haldan waxes poetic about her in every letter but Loheth-”_

_“We don’t know anything about Loheth.”_

_Halreda rolled off the bed, taking Nibenaes’ bag and pressing her to sit down as both boys came to flank her. “Spill,” She demanded, plopping onto the bedsheets beside her and crossing her arms._

_Nibenaes sighed and rolled her eyes before smiling and launching into an avid description of her beloved._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-Canon Names:  
> Mírindis - Jewel Bride (It is more a joining of the names Míriel and Indis) (Quenya)  
> Mírë - Short for Mírindis  
> Crinthammos - Robin Red-Breast (Silvan)  
> Ebordan - Stone Day (Halish)  
> Inzilwen - Flower Maiden (Halish)  
> Parthavron - Book Wright/Book Maker (Sindarin)  
> Loheth - Horse Woman (Halish)  
> Gambel - Buck Friend (Halish)
> 
> Halish Translations:  
> Ken pol-ki loho-croctha - If you can catch the horse.
> 
> Sindarin Translations:  
> Nana - Mother (Informal)
> 
> Quenya Translations:  
> Násë tyaltyë - She is playing you.  
> Istanyë - I know  
> Atya - Father (Informal)
> 
> Silvan Translations:  
> Blaithorn - Tree Spirit  
> Blaithyrn - Tree Spirits


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!  
> Last chapter of this story! Yay! I was going to add another chapter where they all talk through their feelings but then I realised that none of them are actually capable of doing that. So, that shall come in a the next oneshot.  
> I wanted to ask - does anyone want any stories or oneshots on anything in particular? I have so many headcanons for everything that I can't ever decide what to write next. While I will continue with this story (I love Elurín and Eluréd and Caranthir and this entire family), I would love to write further in the universe - I just don't know what people would like.  
> Also, whatever I do write, expect slower updates because I've just gone back to school and work is a thing now.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

The column of numbers was beginning to blur when Caranthir was disturbed from his work.

“Gailant.”

Caranthir looked up sharply as his name was whispered softly. Amosgarn sat on the bed in which she had been sleeping just a moment ago, her hair and clothes rather rumpled, but otherwise looking very awake.

“What’s wrong dear?” She asked, folding her hands in her lap, cocking her head in the slightly concerned way she did.

“I couldn’t sleep. That’s all.”

She pursed her lips in a way that told him that she didn’t believe him at all. “You’re checking the finances. You only do that when something’s wrong.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. You are always confident in your numbers, except when something is wrong.” She stood, crossed the room and knelt by the desk chair, leaning her crossed arms across his legs. “So, spill.”

Caranthir picked at his nail, avoiding her piercing gaze. “It’s nothing Carnë.”

“We just established that that wasn’t true.” She sighed through her nose and caught his wrist, pulling him down to join her on the floor. She gently pushed his face to meet her eyes. “Is it the twins?”

“Which ones?”

“Both?”

“I suppose.”

Amosgarn narrowed her eyes. “But that’s not it, is it? El and El asked you to sing to them tonight, which was enough for both of us to know they will forgive you. And Hal and Hal were never truly angry with you to begin with.”

Caranthir looked away but Amosgarn gently pulled his face back, leaning her forehead against his. “Is it Haleth?” She asked quietly.

He shrugged. “A bit.”

“It’s always a bit Haleth.” Amosgarn sighed and closed her eyes. “But that’s not it either.”

They sat on the floor, forehead to forehead, for a good while longer, until Caranthir broke the silence.

“I…I abandoned them,” He breathed, barely loud enough for Amosgarn, directly next to him, to hear. “I left them to their fate alone.”

Amosgarn reached and grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly. “You didn’t have a choice Caranthir.”

“Yes I did.” He pulled away and looked up at Amosgarn, his eyes wide with emotion. “I saw Káno before I left. He had read the letter. He spotted me from across the camp and he looked _so betrayed_. And I love them all so much but I left. I should have stayed. I should…I should have suffered with them.”

“I wouldn’t have stayed with you much longer after Doriath,” Amosgarn said quietly. “I couldn’t have watched you suffer.”

“I wouldn’t have expected you to. You _know_ that.”

“I do.” She gently reached up and caressed his face gently, brushing over the freckles covering his cheeks. “And so will they, one day. And if you hadn’t gone, who would have found Eluréd and Elurín? They would have died in the forest and you wouldn’t have found Haldad and Halreda again. You wouldn’t have met either of your granddaughters – you have granddaughters Caranthir. And you have more family than your brothers.”

Caranthir stared at Amosgarn’s earnest face, the soft curve of her lips downwards in worry, the crease around her eyes, every line of her face, the scars, the faint tattoos. He opened his mouth to reply but all that came out was a strangled sob.

He covered his mouth with his hand.

Amosgarn pulled him forward into an embrace, holding him tightly. “I’ll be here. I’ll always be here.”

Caranthir buried his face in her neck.

* * *

_Carnistir hadn’t meant to get here._

_He had left the party down in the ballroom and, to get away from the noise, he had begun to wander through the old corridors of the palace – the back ones no-one went into – and had found some door with an old script engraved in it._

_Curious, he had pushed it open to see what was in it and found a bright, airy room, with looms and baskets of thread and piles and rolls of fabric._

_“Woah.”_

_He had been interested by textiles since…well, for as long as he could remember. This was…this was perfect._

_“Hello Carnistir.”_

_He jumped. “Harunillë!” He exclaimed before he could stop himself. His step-grandmother sat in an old wicker chair in the corner, a sketch book on her lap and a pencil held loosely in a hand. “I’ll go back to the party now. Sorry to disturb you.” He made an odd half bow and turned to leave._

_“Wait a moment.”_

_He turned back. Indis smiled at him. “What were you doing away from the party anyway?”_

_“What are_ you _doing away from the party?”_

_Indis shrugged nonchalantly. “It was getting rather tense. I wanted the comfort of an old friend so I came here. And you?”_

_“It was loud. I was getting a headache.”_

_“Would you like to join me?”_

_Carnistir blinked. “Am I…allowed to?”_

_“I should think so. You’re with adult supervision.” She smiled brightly, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Company would be a nice change.”_

_She found him a book on cross-stitch written in his grandmother’s hand from the thin bookshelf in the corner and got out a small basket of the special fabric with holes in and an array of multi-coloured threads. He sat quite contentedly at her feet carefully guiding the needle in and out of the holes under his grandmother’s written instruction._

_The light was slowly becoming more and more silvery and Carnistir kept feeling his eyes droop when Indis started. “The party must have ended ages ago! I completely forgot.” She stood hurriedly, placing her sketchbook on the wicker seat. “You can finish that another time, if you would like but we need to go now, so your parents don’t worry.”_

_She took the fabric carefully from his hands and stowed it in the basket, before picking him up and hurrying down the long corridor._

_“Indis! Oh thank Eru, you found him.”_

_“I’m afraid it was my fault dear. We were sitting together and I completely lost track of time. Isn’t that right dear?”_

_Carnistir nodded sleepily and gave his grandfather a small smile. “Hello Haruti.”_

_Finwë pursed his lips. “I suppose I should take him back to Fëanáro. Just to avoid confrontation.”_

_Carnistir was handed from Indis to his grandfather._

_“Goodbye Moryo,” She said softly and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead._

_“Bye Harunillë,” He mumbled back and pressed himself into his grandfather’s jacket._

_“What were you doing with Indis?” Finwë asked softly as they made their way through the palace._

_“I sewed. It was a good room for sewing.”_

_“Was it now?” There was a slight hitch in Finwë’s voice as he spoke._

_Carnistir nodded. “And Harunë could help me. She drew a lot of diagrams which were good.”_

_And with that declaration, he fell asleep._

* * *

_“Hey Angaráto,” Carnistir said. “I’m afraid Eldalótë isn’t here. You must be lost.”_

_Angaráto gave Carnistir a highly unimpressed look. “Very funny Carnistir. I’m looking for Makalaurë.”_

_“He’s in his bedroom with Cantasië. They’re either composing or fucking. 50/50 chance. Willing to take the risk Ango? Or maybe you’re here for composition.”_

_Carnistir could feel Angaráto roll his eyes even as he didn’t look up from his embroidery. “Goodbye Moryo.”_

* * *

_“What’s wrong Moryo?”_

_Carnistir didn’t look up, burying his face further into his knees._

_“Moryo.” Carnistir felt the bed spring a bit as his elder brother sat down. “Come on. You can tell me what happened.”_

_He shook his head._

_“Was it school?”_

_He didn’t move._

_“It was those boys at school again, wasn’t it?”_

_“They called my freckles freaky.” He mumbled, his voice muffled slightly by the fabric of his tunic. “Which they aren’t ‘cause Ammë’s aren’t.”_

_“Exactly. They’re just being stupid – you know you’re right. If someone says that to you again you can say that Aranel Nerdanel, who makes statues for the Valar, has freckles and that by saying yours are freaky, they’re also saying that hers are as well.”_

_Carnistir pondered this for a moment before deciding that it was reasonable. He lifted his head slightly to look Maitimo._

_“Do you want a hug?” He asked but Carnistir shook his head._

_“Thank you Nelyo.”_

_Maitimo grinned. “I’m glad I could help. Now, Atto says supper is nearly ready, so you should probably get out of your school uniform.”_

* * *

_“Hey Moryo…”_

_Carnistir didn’t even look up from his book. “Curvo’s in the forge. Don’t use my bed this time.”_

_Findaráto smiled winningly, even though his cousin couldn’t see him. “We have never used your bed.”_

_“Thank you, that has now narrowed down my list of suspects. Now don’t you have one of my brothers to seduce?”_

* * *

_“That meeting went quite well,” Carnistir said, carefully adjusting the pile of notes he held as his aunt powered on down the corridor._

_“Positivity doesn’t suit you Moryo.” Lalwendë sighed, spinning her pencil between her fingers. “That meeting was a disaster. Usually I can control them – but alas, not today. Why there must be such a feud between imports and exports, I will never know.”_

_“People like to be angry at other people?” Carnistir guessed and Lalwendë laughed._

_“You’re probably right there. On that note, what are the chances you’ll be able to copy down the minutes for that meeting in time for the heads of department meeting at noon?”_

_Carnistir thought back to the furious, probably incomprehensible scribblings he had jotted down in his minutes notebook._

_“I can try,” He replied apprehensively._

_Lalwendë ruffled his hair. “Good. Then I’ll see you just before noon at my office!”_

* * *

_Carnistir winced as the glass hit the floor._

_The tinkling smash died away to the silence of the room and Carnistir could feel the entire room’s gaze on him. He glowered, spinning away from the spot to find something to clean up the glass._

_“Moryo!” Arafinwë drifted over from somewhere in the crowd. “How’s your father?”_

_The room took the hint and turned to whisper among themselves. “He’s fine. Where can I find a broom?”_

_Arafinwë made a wafting gesture with his hand. “Don’t worry about it Moryo. I’ll get a servant on it.”_

_He smiled at a nearby serving girl and asked if she might get one of the maids to very kindly clear up the mess, if it wasn’t too much trouble? The girl smiled back and agreed with a bow of her head._

_“Now, why don’t you come with me and I’ll take your clothes from you and get them cleaned. It would never do to have a wine stain, even if your clothes are as dark as they are.”_

* * *

_“Finvain Findisiel.” Carnistir put his embroidery down. “Come to steal something?”_

_Findis’ eldest daughter snorted. “Please. Like there’s anything in this house worth stealing.”_

_“And yet somehow you do it anyway.”_

_She rolled her eyes and turned away. “I’m going to find the company of a Fëanárion who doesn’t make me want to tear my own hand off.”_

_“Be my guest. I’m sure you’ll be disappointed.”_

* * *

_“It’s horrible! It was horrible and she probably hates me.” Makalaurë continued to mumble to himself as he played a horrible, screeching melody on the violin._

_Carnistir put down his embroidery, very near to snapping his elder brothers neck. “Káno, I know I’m not Nelyo, but I think I can give you some advice on your love life.”_

_Makalaurë sat up and the music – if it could so be called that – blessedly stopped. “Really?”_

_“Talk to her. Or even better, next time you decide to serenade a woman, you don’t immediately run away afterwards.”_

_Makalaurë sighed and sunk back into the window seat. “I’m afraid I shall never have the opportunity to woo her again.”_

_There was a knock on the door at the same time the violin playing began again. Carnistir jumped up._

_“I’ll get it!” He yelled to the house at large and ran from the room and away from the horrible music._

_He opened the front door to reveal a nís, dressed in pale blues and purples, a string of shells around her neck and a woven headband keeping her silvery hair from her face. “Hello,” She said, bowing her head. “I was looking for Maka-”_

_“You must be Cantasië.” Carnistir interrupted. “Makalaurë’s in the room just down the corridor. Just follow the sound of dying cats.” She gave him an odd look but let herself in and did as she was told. “Please break the violin while you’re at it!” He yelled after her as the hem of her dress disappeared around a corner and grinned, rather proud of himself._

* * *

_“No. Tyelko is not here.” Carnistir said before his cousin opened his mouth. “He’s gone hunting. If he hooked up with you for a one night stand, you will be getting nothing back from him. Please come again another time.”_

_Turukáno huffed. “He_ said- _”_

_Carnistir kept his eyes on his cross-stitch. “It doesn’t matter what he said. He has almost definitely forgotten about you. Goodbye.”_

_Turukáno huffed again and turned away on his heel._

* * *

_Fëanáro sat patiently beside his son as Carnistir frowned over the maths equation. Since he had been far beyond his peers in maths, Fëanáro had sat him down and begun their own little maths class, just the two of them._

_“I would say you rearrange the equation. But every time I try, I end up proving 0 = 0.” He huffed in frustration. “I know 0 = 0, I don’t need to prove it to myself!”_

_Fëanáro examined his sons neatly ordered notes. “Instead of trying to find A right away, why don’t you find one of the other letters? Maybe that’ll help.”_

_Carnistir scrunched up his face. “But A is what we want.”_

_“Sometimes,” Fëanáro said, “We need to find more than just what we want.”_

_“That’s weird and cheesy Atto. Stop trying to sound clever.”_

_Fëanáro gasped. “I am wounded. You have wounded me yonya!”_

_Carnistir rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”_

_“I don’t know. It feels pretty serious.”_

_“Maybe it’s an obsession with being weird. Maybe you’ve overdone the weirdness and now your body is revolting.”_

_Fëanáro nodded. “That sounds like sage advice. What do you recommend?”_

_“To stop being weird. I thought that was rather self-explanatory.” Carnistir glared at him half-heartedly. “I’m_ trying _to do maths here.”_

* * *

_“Aikanáro. Here for Tyelko?” Carnistir didn’t raise his head from his work as he spoke. “He’s outside. With Irissë. Likely skinny-dipping in the lake.”_

_Aikanáro sighed. “Turko warned me.”_

_“And you should have listened. Goodbye now.”_

* * *

_“Turcafinwë!” Carnistir screamed, standing on his bed. “Why are there snakes in my room?”_

_“It’s fine Moryo!” Tyelkormo yelled back._

_“It is most decidedly_ not fine _! Please, by all that is good in the world, take them away!”_

_Tyelkormo wandered into the room, Huan lumbering along behind him. “Seriously, Moryo, it’s fine. They’re not poisonous.”_

_“I don’t care whether they’re poisonous or not,” Carnistir ground out through clenched teeth, “I don’t want them in my room.”_

_Tyelkormo picked one of the snakes up and held it close to Carnistir. “See, she won’t bite.”_

_Carnistir’s eye twitched. “Just take them out Tyelko! I don’t want to know if it’ll bite or not.”_

_“She, not it.”_

_“I don’t care!”_

_Tyelkormo rolled his eyes as he draped the snakes into his bag. He looked up and grinned. “You’ve gone all red Moryo.”_

_Carnistir took one look at his brother’s smug face and screamed._

_“Get out of my room!”_

_“With or without the snakes.”_

_“With them, with them, with them!” He pushed Tyelkormo, the bag of snakes and Huan into the corridor and slammed the door with a satisfying bang._

* * *

_Carnistir was going over some of the sums Lalwendë had given him when he heard footsteps._

_“Moryo, you don’t happen-” Findekáno began, but was cut off._

_“No, Finno, Atto is not in. Nelyo is in his room. Please don’t be too loud – I’m trying to work.”_

* * *

_Carnistir knocked nervously on his aunt’s door._

_There was a short scuffle and then Findis opened it. “Oh, hello Moryo. How may I help you?”_

_“You had really nice make-up at the ball.”_

_She blinked. “Thank you. Was that all because I was a little busy…?”_

_“Can you teach me?” Carnistir asked._

_“Teach you what?”_

_“To do make-up. Like yours. Because it was nice.”_

_“Oh. Well, I can’t really take credit for it. El?” She called into the room and a moment later, a blonde Vanyarin nís appeared and grinned brightly._

_“Hello there. I’m Elemmírë. I couldn’t help but hear that you were having a make-up crisis.”_

_“It’s not a crisis!” Carnistir blushed. “I just want to know how to do it.”_

_Elemmírë nodded sagely. “If you say so. Come on in, I would be happy to show you.”_

* * *

_Carnistir knocked on Ñolofinwë’s open door. “Ontáno Ñolofinwë. Essa Lalwendë asked me to bring you the annual reports.”_

_Ñolofinwë looked up from his paperwork and smiled. “Ah, thank you Moryo. Just put them there.” He gestured vaguely to his left and turned back to his work._

_Carnistir looked over and had to physically stop himself from cringing. There were piles of paper and books just strewn over the floor. There was a large bookcase but Carnistir counted only four books standing upright on the shelves, the rest being filled with even more piles of paper and far too many boxes._

_“Where?”_

_Ñolofinwë looked up again. “Just wherever you want.”_

_“But which…which pile is the right one?”_

_“There isn’t.”_

_Carnistir blinked, pushed down the very serious urge to begin sorting and placed the papers on the nearest tottering pile before backing away very, very quickly._

_“Thank you. I’ll just…be going now.” He turned and fled._

* * *

_“Hey, Moryo, I’m glad I’ve found_ someone _. Is there no-one else in this house?”_

_Carnistir shrugged. “Chances are they’re not. My family has an apparent aversion to living together. Looking for Curvo? ‘Cause I think he’s gone on a walk with Rinwendë.”_

_Faniel tutted. “I’ll wait for his return at the gate.”_

* * *

_“So, you and Findaráto are having sex? But there’s nothing more there.”_

_Curufinwë nodded._

_“You and_ Rinwendë _are engaged but you haven’t told anyone yet.”_

_Curufinwë nodded again._

_“You and_ Amarië _occasionally…make out because…you’re bored?”_

_Another nod._

_“Amarië and Findaráto are also engaged.”_

_Nod._

_“And Amarië and Rinwendë are having sex? But in this case, there could be something more.”_

_A nod._

_“Anything I miss?”_

_“Rinwendë and Findaráto occasionally go around looking pretty together because they like starting rumours, even when it’s highly uncalled for.”_

_“Right.” Carnistir sighed. “And why are you telling_ me _?”_

_“The twins are too young; Nelyo would be disappointed because ‘the sanctity of monogamous marriage’ or something; Káno would mean well but he can’t keep a secret; Tyelko would think it hilarious and make lewd jokes at every turn; and who else could I talk to?”_

_“No, I got all that,” Carnistir said and gave up on trying to cross-stitch. “But why are you telling anyone at all?”_

_Curufinwë looked him directly in the eyes. “I think I might be in love with Findaráto.”_

_Carnistir blinked. “But you just said-”_

_“I lied. That was what things were meant to be like but my stupid cousin is stupid and flashy and stupid and I think I might love him.”_

_“Right,” Carnistir said slowly. “Is that a problem?”_

_“Yes. We all laid out our boundaries at the beginning and I can’t just go around developing_ feelings _because that wasn’t what was agreed upon.”_

_“Are these boundaries unchangeable?”_

_“Well, we’ve never exactly discussed it-”_

_Carnistir snorted. “I can’t believe you’re this stupid. Just talk to them about it. Just get all of you together and talk. Secret feelings are probably worse than feelings that go against boundaries that you can change.”_

_Curufinwë looked at him for an uncomfortably long time. “That is…a reasonable solution. Thank you Moryo.” He uncurled himself from the end of his brother’s bed and slipped out of the room._

_Carnistir blinked, shook his head and turned back to his cross-stitch._

* * *

_“The twins and Arti are at your secret club house,” Carnistir said, adjusting his eyeliner in the hall mirror as he spotted Arakáno trying to sneak behind him. “Don’t go by the shed, Atto’s working in there.”_

_Arakáno gave him a thumbs up and they both creeped back the way they came._

* * *

_There was a knock on Carnistir’s bedroom door._

_“May I come in?” Mahtan asked through the wood. Carnistir didn’t reply, idly tracing patterns on his bedsheets._

_The door opened and Mahtan came in anyway. He sat on the edge of the bed, uncharacteristically quiet, waiting._

_“You want to talk about it?”_

_“‘bout what?” Carnistir didn’t look up from his task. The pattern beneath his fingertips was one he was planning on embroidering for Indis but…_

_“Your father doesn’t like Indis.”_

_“No,” Carnistir agreed in a monotone. “He said I’m not allowed to go to the Palace anymore without someone else. Is it…is it really a betrayal of Harunë if I enjoy Ha-Indis’ company?”_

_There was a long silence that stretched out between them._

_“Do you know who you remind me of?”_

_Carnistir shrugged, slightly perplexed by the change in topic._

_“Your Haruni Þurwë.”_

_Carnistir sat up. “Really?” He asked incredulously. He had never met his maternal grandmother and no-one ever seemed to talk about her._

_Mahtan hummed in agreement. “You have her hair and the gold speckles in her eyes. Your freckles are hers as well and your temper – quick to rise and quick to fall again, bright and bold.” Mahtan wasn’t looking at Carnistir as he spoke, his fingers idly plucking at his tunic. “There’s Finwë in you also. You have his sharp chin and high set cheekbones and his grey eyes. Míriel is in the round shape of your nose and the wave of your hair and your pointed elbows and knees.” Carnistir was beginning to feel rather self-conscious as his grandfather continued to speak. “You have my copper skin and my ears.”_

_“This is really weird.” Carnistir cut in, his face hot. “Can you get to the point?”_

_Mahtan laughed. “My point is, Carnistir, that you have inherited plenty from your grandparents by birth. But do you know who else you remind me of?”_

_Carnistir shook his head slowly._

_“Indis.” Mahtan finally turned to look at him, a serious turn on his usually laughing face. “In the way you frown and smile and hold yourself. There is plenty enough of Indis in you for her to be your Harunillë if you so please. So long as you remember Míriel too, it will never be a betrayal.”_

_Carnistir nodded, his eyes slightly wide._

_Mahtan grinned and Carnistir let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. The grin was far more natural on his face._

* * *

_Carnistir needed no words for Irissë._

_He pointed in the direction of the kitchens as he cut his thread._

* * *

_Carnistir was not sleeping – not because of the thunderstorm outside but because his embroidery for his mother’s birthday in less than a week was still only half completed and he wanted to finish it in time._

_The storm was actually rather unfortunate for this particular task. The clouds darkened the light of Telperion and Carnistir had to squint to work out whether the thread he was choosing was indeed the right shade of green._

_Sighing in defeat, he uncurled himself from the window seat and made the decision to go ask his father for a lamp._

_He opened the door and very nearly tripped over his youngest brothers._

_“Ambarussa! What are you doing? It’s nearly Telperion’s height.”_

_The two boys shared a look before Telvo spoke. “We couldn’t sleep.”_

_“The thunder was really loud-”_

_“-and the light is all weird and flickery-”_

_“-and we can’t sleep,” Pityo finished. “Can we sleep with you tonight?”_

_Carnistir thought momentarily of sending them off to find Maitimo who had far more experience with small brothers than he did and who didn’t have an embroidery project he really needed to finish. Unfortunately, the twins were employing their cute faces – one of the few things Carnistir caved to._

_“Fine,” He said with a sigh and turned back with twin brothers on his heel. They watched him silently as he folded up his embroidery and put it away in the copper box Mahtan had made him for his thirtieth begetting day._

_He supposed he’d be able to focus on the project somewhat better in the morning if he slept a bit on it. And the twins were awfully comfortable, curled up into his sides._

* * *

_Artanis sidled up to him, where he stood leant against the wall of the ballroom, glowering at anyone who tried to get too close. “Onóro,” She said, bowing her head slightly in his direction._

_“Onónë.”_

_She took a sip of her champagne. “Your father’s planning something.”_

_Carnistir shrugged. “Atto is always planning something. I try not to think too hard on it.”_

_“This time you should.” She cautioned, her voice deep with foresight. “I would prefer it if there wasn’t an unfixable rift in our family.”_

_Carnistir rolled his eyes. “Nothing in this family is unfixable.”_

_She huffed. “Optimism doesn’t suit you.”_

_“It’s not optimism – it’s the truth. This family is a disaster but none of us can find it in us to actively hate each other. We’re all too similar.” He uncrossed his arms. “You know that Arti.”_

_“Fine. If you won’t listen, I’ll find someone who will.”_

_“Oh, I listened.” He said as she turned away. “I just don’t think you’re right.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-Canon Names:  
> Gailant - Star Faced (Silvan)  
> Carnë - Short for Carnëalca  
> Carnëalca - Red Ray of Light (Quenya)  
> Finvain - Hair of Blonde (Quenya)  
> Findisiel - Daughter of Findis (Quenya)  
> Fëanárion - Son of Fëanáro (Quenya)  
> Cantasië - Music of Ease and Comfort (Quenya)  
> Rilya - Short for Rilyanillë  
> Rilyanillë - Glittering Woman (Quenya)  
> Rinwendë - Dew Maiden (Quenya)  
> Þurwë - Seeking Person (Quenya)
> 
> Quenya Translations:  
> Harunillë - Grandmother (Formal)  
> Haruti - Grandfather (Informal)  
> Harunë - Grandmother (Informal)  
> Ammë - Mother (Informal)  
> Aranel - Princess  
> Atto - Father (Informal)  
> Yonya - My son  
> Nís - Woman  
> Ontáno - Uncle (Formal)  
> Essa - Aunt (Informal)  
> Haruni - Grandmother (Informal)  
> Onóro - Male Cousin (Formal)  
> Onónë - Female Cousin (Formal)


End file.
